Three women are chatting about their relationships. One is engaged, one married, and one a mistress. They decide to amaze their men….that night all three will wear a leather bodice S&M style, stiletto’s and mask over their eyes .
After a few days the three met again.
The engaged girlfriend: ‘the other night, when my boyfriend came [...]
I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I’m too old to track down terrorists. (You can’t be older than 42 to join the military.)
They’ve got the whole thing backwards. Instead of sending 18-year-olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn’t be able to join a military unit until [...]
A business man got on an elevator. When he entered, there was a blonde
already inside who greeted him with a bright, “T-G-I-F.”
He smiled at her and replied, “S-H-I-T.”
She looked puzzled and repeated, “T-G-I-F,” more slowly.
He again answered, “S-H-I-T.”
The blonde was trying to keep it friendly, so she smiled her biggest smile, and said as sweetly [...]
A visiting professor at Texas A&M University was making a presentation on the supernatural to a few hundred people in an auditorium.
To get a sense of his audience, he asks, “How many people here actually believe in ghosts?” About 90 people raise their hands.
“Well, that’s really interesting. Out of those of you who believe in [...]
A kind-hearted fellow was walking through Central Park in New York and was astonished to see an old man, fishing rod in hand, fishing over a beautiful bed of red roses.
“Tsk Tsk!” said the passerby to himself. “What a sad sight. That poor old man is fishing over a bed of flowers. I’ll see if [...]
A man was stranded on a desert island for 10 years.
One day a beautiful girl swims to shore in a wetsuit….
Man: “Hi! Am I ever happy to see you.”
Girl: “Hi! It seems like you’ve been here a long time. How long has it been since you’ve had a cigarette?”
Man: “It’s been ten years!”
With this information [...]
1. Blaming your farts on me…. Not funny… Not funny at all !!!
2. Yelling at me for barking. I’M A FRIGGIN’ DOG, YOU IDIOT!
3. Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly whose walk is this anyway?
4. Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose. Stop it!
5. Any haircut [...]
A retired Italian wine maker went to the village church to make his confession for the first time in many decades. When the priest slid open the panel in the confessional, the man said, “Father, during World War II, a beautiful woman knocked on my door and asked me to hide her from the enemy. [...]
One day an Angel was strolling around heaven gawking at all the stuff God
had just created — the heavens and the Earth — when he stumbled upon God
hard at work in his garage.
Angel: Hey God what are you up to now?
God: I’m assembling a man and woman so that I can put them on Earth.
Angel: [...]
After just a few years of marriage filled with constant arguments, a young man and his wife decided the only way to save their marriage was to try counseling. They had been at each other’s throats for some time and felt that this was their last straw.
When they arrived at the counselor’s office, the counselor [...]
