A little old lady went into the Bank of Canada one day, carrying a bag of money. She insisted that she must speak with the president of the bank to open a savings account because, “It’s a lot of money!” After much hemming and hawing, the bank staff finally ushered her into the president’s office.
The [...]
This man dies and goes to Hell. He is not very happy about this, so he goes to see the devil himself, to ask him if it is possible to go upstairs instead.
Well, the devil replies, you are scheduled to leave here in 1,000,000 years, but I have a special offer this week. If you [...]
In search of a new shower for our home, my wife and I went to a bathroom-supply store.
We discussed our needs with a young saleswoman. Since it was near closing time, we had to curtail our discussion and made plans to come back the next day to make our final decision.
Later that evening, my wife [...]
There lived a woman who had a maddening passion for baked beans. Unfortunately, they made her pass so much gas each time.
Baked Beans So when she met the man she would marry, she made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.
Some months after her wedding, her car broke down on the way home from work. [...]
There was an elderly man who wanted to make his younger wife pregnant. So, he went to the doctor to have a sperm count done. The doctor told him to take a specimen cup home, fill it, and bring it back the next day. The elderly man came back the next day and the specimen [...]
This young girl wanted to see Santa so she stayed up on Christmas Eve. At about 12:00 a.m. Santa came down her chimney and she said to him in a little voice “Santa will you stay with me?” And Santa said” HO HO HO gotta go, gotta go, gotta give other children presents you know” [...]
The year is 2222 and Mike and Maureen land on Mars after accumulating enough frequent flier miles. They meet a Martian couple and are talking about all sorts of things. Mike asks if Mars has a stock market, if they have laptop computers, how they make money, etc. Finally, Maureen brings up the subject of [...]
Three sisters wanted to get married, but their parents couldn’t afford it so they had all of them on the same day. They also couldn’t afford to go on a honeymoon so they all stayed home with their new hubbies. That night the mother got up because she couldn’t sleep.
When she went past her oldest [...]
A small tourist hotel was all abuzz about an afternoon
wedding where the groom was 95 and the bride was 23. The
groom looked pretty feeble and the feeling was that the wedding night might kill him, because his bride was a healthy, vivacious young woman.
But lo and behold, the next morning, the bride came down the [...]
A farmer stopped by the local mechanic shop to have his truck fixed. They couldn’t do it while he waited, so he said he didn’t live far and would just walk home.
On the way home he stopped at the hardware store and bought a bucket and a gallon of paint.
He then stopped by the feed [...]
