A Scottish Jew who had worked hard all his life in Scotland, decided that he would like to enjoy life a little, so he went to the exclusive St. Andrews Club. He was told on applying that his application would have to be approved by the Membership Board and that he would have their decision [...]

An analyst was listening to a voluptuous beauty with a problem of her own.
“It’s liquor, doctor,” she sobbed.
“I’m really a very nice girl, but just as soon as I’ve had a drink or two, I become uncontrollably passionate and I want to make love to whomever I happen to be with.”
“I see,” the analyst said, [...]

1. Women wear high heels to bed.
2. Men are never impotent.
3. When going down on a woman 10 seconds is more than satisfactory.
4. If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she will not scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he have sex with her.
5. Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in [...]

A boy wanted to skip kindergarten so he could join the third graders. His teacher, shocked, took him to the principal’s office. The teacher and the principal decided to ask the boy a couple of questions as a test. “What is 3 x 3?” the principal asks. “9,” the boy answers. “What is 6 x [...]

A mother and daughter were riding in a cab though New York City when
the daughter noticed some scantily clad women loitering on a street
“Mommy,” the little girl asked, “what are all those ladies doing?”
“They’re waiting for their husbands to come home from work.” the
mother answered.
“C’mon lady, they’re hookers!” retorted the cab driver.
After a stunned silence, [...]

Don goes into business for himself. He buys a hotdog cart and sets it up in a prime spot on a busy downtown corner, right near a large bank.
One day, his friend, Jim, approaches him and asks Don if he can lend him some money. Don refuses.
“But why?” asks Jim. “Everyone knows you’re doing [...]

A lady walks into a very upscale jewelry shop. She browses around,
spots a beautiful diamond bracelet and walks over to inspect it.
Bending over to get a closer look, she accidently passes gas.
Extremely embarrassed, she freezes for a few moments and then slowly
straightens up and turns around to see whether anyone has noticed her
little accident. [...]

A father was explaining the facts of life to his teenage son. After covering the basic biology, he moved on to the finer points of lovemaking.
Dad: “One thing to keep in mind, son, is that different women say different things during the sex act, even if you are doing the same thing.”
Son: “What do [...]

A pregnant woman with triplets was walking down the street, when a masked robber runs out of a bank and shoots her three times in the stomach.
Luckily the babies are okay! The surgeon decides to leave bullets in because it was too risky to operate… The woman had two healthy girls and a healthy son.
All [...]

Two men camping in the mountains had spent four days together, and they were getting a little testy. One morning, the first friend says, “You know, we’re starting to get on each other’s nerves. Why don’t we split up today. I’ll hike north and spend the day looking around, you hike south and spend the [...]